Monday, April 30, 2012

Review: Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye by Victoria Laurie

Abby Cooper is a P.I., psychic intuitive. But her insight failed her when she didn't foresee the death of one of her clients-or that the lead investigator for the case is the gorgeous blind date she just met. Now, with the police suspicious of her abilities and a killer on the loose, Abby's future looks more uncertain than ever.

From my private collection.

I'd had high hopes for this considering all the positive reviews but frankly, this was crap.  Yes, I said it, crap.  I was so not impressed.  At all.

First, let me mention that I listened to the Audible edition, which may have made it even worse.  The reader was simply intolerable.  Imagine a Kardashian reading an audiobook in her condescending voice and that's what this was like, but perhaps even worse.

The story itself was marginal, but the characters were horrific.  Abby herself was just a WASPy bitch.  She was condescending.  She was rude.  She was snotty beyond belief.

Let's just take one exchange as evidence of her bitchiness - she was surprised when Dutch (the cop/potential boyfriend) mentioned that he'd gone to grad school.  She didn't think cops were smart enough for grad school.  No, really.  As if that wasn't enough, she "questioned his sexuality" when he showed her to his lavender painted guest room.  What is that all about?  Um, hello!  What a bitch!

Oh, and lest I forget, Abby also hates overweight people.  Unless you're model thin you're fat in her book and she hates fat people.  She constantly bitches about "dough arms" and how one woman "looked like that girl who chewed the blueberry gum in Willy Wonka and turned into a blueberry".  Oh no, I'm serious.  I mean, come on!  That's just plain rude!

So, between Abby's holier-than-thou bitchiness and the reader's annoying whine this was a giant waste of time.  You may ask why I even bothered to limp to the end.  Well, I was actually doing some Spring closet cleaning and this was the only audiobook I had available at the time.  It probably would have been better to just listen to the wind.

Just do not pick this up.  I beg you.  Just walk on by.  Unless, of course, you are a homophobic, elitist WASP (or is that an oxymoron?), in which cast you'll thoroughly enjoy this.

☆☆= Didn't Like It


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